Should I date this guy knowing he has HIV?

My ex boyfriend came back into my life after several years, I was happy to see him and he looks good. We talked and shared a lot of memories and discussed the possibilities of getting back together but he wanted to be honest with me and tell me about his HIV status. He told me he contracted by an ex girlfriend who knew she had it and didn't tell him. Most people would have ran like hell but I cried and hugged him so tight and didn't want to let him go. I want to be there for him, I love him but intimacy and having sex is going to be a serious problem because I don not want to contract the disease and furthermore I have a 4 year old daughter to live for what should I do. Someone please help me.

I applaud your open mind on this - like you said, most people would have run the second he said that. On the one hand it's good that you feel strongly about him, and you're not afraid to try a relationship with him a second time around.

On the other hand, the realist in me says this is doomed to heartache and failure.

Consider that in a normal relationship things didn't work out that well. I don't know the details of why it fell apart, but it did. Now add a deadly infectious disease to the mix and try it again? And risk your child?

We know HIV is transmitted by body fluids - so now consider how often you come in contact with someones body fluids. What happens when someone cuts themselves and doesn't realize it and gets blood somewhere on you? What about your child - if your daughter scrapes her knee are you going to be afraid of him going near her because of the risk of infection? What about a sneeze? How about a kiss? There can be tiny cuts in the mouth that you don't even realize - we've all flossed and had a gum bleed, or brushed our teeth too hard and got blood on the toothbrush right?

The more you think about it, the more you'll realize how often you'd be exposed to this stuff and while you may comfortable risking yourself, you have to really consider your daughter.

Even if you pulled it off, with all the safeguards in place, you still have the weight of the actual relationship. Personally I think it's too much stress to last and the whole thing will collapse.

If you decide to test the waters, I would move very slow and very cautiously. It's not impossible, it's just extremely difficult. At least in my opinion. :)

Kudos for him being honest with you upfront. Having that disease makes it difficult to deal with. If you can't emotionally deal with it, then you're going to have to let him go. But condoms prevent the spread of STDs. As long as he's on medication and keeps it under control, if he wears a condom, sex should be ok. It's up to you and your feelings about him and the situation. If you honestly love him but dump him because of the HIV, that's a little shallow.

awww omg you are truly such a sweet person im glad that you can see more than just the sex life. If you truly thinkin you really wanna get back with him do it there are many many ways that you both can have a great sex life and you not contract the disease just make sure you do alot of planning and use precaution. good luck :)

You must be crazy. Hes coming back into your life now when he knows he has an infectious disease? Ask yourself, if he didn't know he had this, do you honestly think he'd come running back or would he be out there living his life? Hes looking for sympathy, and for someone who will look after him. Don't be a doormat. It didn't work out between you the first time, why do think it will now? Especially with HIV thrown into it!! Take my advise, run a mile!!!

no. a, he's your ex for a reason, b, it's a serious disease that will take up a lot of your time and life as well as his, and c, you will have a HARD time having children if you want them. and if you contract hiv, then you're doing a disservice to your daughter.

Do your research girl. If it's nothing serious and you take the proper precautions you should be fine. But make sure it's something you want to do. Life is too short to be lived only halfway. If you want something then go for it. But if you know that you can do without it and if you're strong enough good things may lie in store. You never know what lies just around the corner! ^_^

let me make something clear. The risk of spreading HIV from the mouth or any part other than the genital areas is highly unlikely. Unless their blood enters your body, the risk is very low if at all. The only conern you should have is when it comes to sex or when his blood is exposed

well the only thing that i can tell u is if u love him so much and u have a 4 yr old i would just leave it at that. if u want to have sex with him then make sure he wares a condom so u dont get the disease from him i hope this helps alittle.

Ok so it sounds like you really love this guys...so you need to take the necessary precautions to be safe from contracting the disease...do research on it and see how you can prevent it while still being intimate with him...i hope this helps

he really was honest with you and everything so do a little bit of research and the least you could do is give this relationship a try and if it doesn't seem to be working out let him know truthfully.......

Be his friend, but don't date him. He needs friends in his time of need, and you can be that. But don't risk yourself, your daughter is more important than he is in your life...

Find someone else. Please.

well unless you want to jeopardize you getting HIV, I mean you can hang out with him but I would keep it at that.

People who are HIV positive have fulfilling relationships and sex lives. Seems to me that you need to do a little research on this subject.

You should wish him well and go on your way. By yourself this would be monumental. With a 4 year old it shouldn't be attempted at all.

its best for you if you dont have sex with him.................its better to be just friends....................................

good luck!!!!

man thats a ahrd decision

first of all, make sure that the only reason that you're considering dating him is because of the fact that you are feeling sorry for him at this point.

Secondly if you want to date him you have to be fully aware that a sexual relationship in terms of intercourse will not be possible because of the health risks associated with it... not to mention you dont want to have your daughter lose her mom...

If you do decide to date him do it solely because you have genuine feelings for him, not guilt or sympthy etc. Once you've determined that it is a case of genuine feelings then you should have a chat with your doctor/ his doctor/ specialist with HIV so that you can be fully aware of precautions that you and him must take to prevent you and your daughter from contracting the disease. The doctor may also be able to advise you on alternative methods for sexual bonding and such which will not put you at risk.. good luck