Lied about number of sexual partners...?

I've never lied to my boyfriend about anything until the other day. It was my fault that the topic came up because I was curious about his past (curiosity killed the cat, right?). I don't know why I asked him how many sex partners he has had when I was only really interested in knowing if he's been tested for STDS and HIV.

FYI - We're not on the intimate level yet but we're getting close to it.

I'm 24 years old and admit that I've lived a VERY promiscuous life. It's not something I'm proud of and it's something I want to change. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 4 months and he's been really understanding that I'm not ready to have sex. The problem is that he doesn't know that I've had MANY sexual partners in the past. I believe he thinks I've been intimate with only one guy in the past and it's probably why he's been very understanding about me not wanting to have sex yet.

Another reason why we haven't had sex either is because I haven't had the courage to ask him if

Another reason why we haven't had sex either is because I haven't had the courage to ask him if he's been tested. I test myself for STDS regularly and is clean (thank good).

So I finally mustered up the courage to ask him how many sex partners he has had in hopes to leading the convo to "Oh, so have you been tested for STDS?"... What I didn't anticipate is that he'd tell me how many sexual partners he has had and ask me the same question back. He told me 3. When he asked me, I hesitated, and then lied to him and told him 4 when I've been with 13.

He was shocked by the number 4.

I'm feel extremely guilty that I lied since a relationship should be built on trust and honesty, right? What should I do? Should I fess up that I lied or keep it to myself and hope that he never finds out the truth? If he found out how many guys I've really been with, I think it might really hurt him. I really don't want to hurt him... even though I might already am?

Not that it's relevant, but my boyfriend

He was shocked when you said 4? Hmm. Well You are 24 years old so 4 is not out of the realm of possibility, that's for sure. He's probably just feeling insecure because you've had sex with more people than he has (even thought he doesn't know it's a lot more than that :)

Don't beat yourself up for having sex with a lot of people. What's done is done and you can't change the past. I've beat myself up plenty of times over the years for all these things that I can never change and let me tell ya, it doesn't help anything.

There are plenty of guys out there who have had sex with a lot of other women. They pretty much skate and get to be called studs or skirtchasers at worst. It's unfair that a different standard is held for women, but that's just the way it is I guess.

As far as telling the truth about how many people you've slept with...if your boyfriend was shocked by 4, imagine how shocked he's going to be when you tell him the real number. If you feel it's really important to you to confess and tell him the exact number of people you've been with, then I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Personally, I don't think I would tell him about it though. People judge HARSHLY on how many sexual partners a woman has had. (Most) men are definetely threatened by a woman who has a lot of experience in the bedroom (before they came around). Especially if it's more than they've had. And women are no better when it comes to judging this. They'll slap the sl*t label on you fast and assume they're better than you if they've slept with less men. They often will think they're more "pure."

It sounds like you're going to start being more choosy about who you have sex with and that you're trying to put your "promiscuous" past behind you. Just remember that it's your business and nobody elses (since you don't have any STD's). We all do things in life that we regret, every single one of us. So don't judge yourself too harshly, and don't let others either (hence, don't tell your boyfriend about the real number unless you KNOW he's above judgment on this sort of thing).

Good luck.

some times it best not to tell the truth ,, you could hurt him by telling him.. your with him now before you met him dose not matter .. but now dose .. be good to your self .. and him please .. good luck.

I don't think he would be mad about how many but he mint be mad about why would u lie

This is hard. I'm 14 lady. I have made romances successful before. But this one is hard. I can still try. Too be honest don't tell him the truth. Make him believe its 4. Then have sex because it will make him forget about it. Then flirt with him and act happy. You had sex. Don't mention the subject again to him OK. Whenever he mentions it have sex

if i was bf, i'd be hurt because of the lie...and the more you prolong it the more that it's going to be difficult...