ukcoalition.org
*Home>>>Living with HIV

Don't want my mother in law around me or my kids.?


i have a major problem w/ my mother in law.you see she lived most of her life in a very bad neighborhood where crime and drugs are normal things to see.as a result she picked up some bad habits like smoking marijuana,drinking and ocassionally doing cocaine.my husband and i live in the u.s. and she lives in the carribean,my problem with her is that she only calls once every couple of months just to ask for money or when she needs something, she doesnt even look for our 5 yr old daughter(which she says she loves) she recently called saying that shes having problems with her older son who is abusive with her but 4 some reason she doesnt press charges on him, anyways the point is that she wants to come stay with us until she finds her own place or so she says.the truth is that i cant stand her ways she has attitude problems and on top of everything shes also hiv positive.im just worry about the example she'll be for my daughter and my other baby on the way.i dont know what 2 do,help!!!

If your mother in law is doing drugs or has an alcoholism problem there is nothing wrong with you not wanting her in the house. Your children should not be exposed to that kind of behavior and possible dangers that could occur.

Also, you and your husband are not obligated to hand her money that she would probably end up spending on her bad habits.

If she wants to come and live with your family suggest that she finds a rehab and then an apartment. You and your husband could tell her that you're willing to help make those arrangements (if you can financially) and that you will help her get around to the doctors and stores as well as visit.

Keep yourself and your family safe without completely neglecting your mother in law. She just needs some emotional and mental support and a lot of love. Also, as long as she's careful (like if she gets a cut she immediately cleans it up and covers it) there is no reason to be paranoid about her being around as far as the HIV goes.

I am so sorry about all that, I wouldn't want her around my daughter either...Try talking to your hubby and tell him everything that is on your mind, but not rudely b/c he may get offended if her doesn't see her in the same light... Take Care and good luck :-)

You have every right to want her to stay away.

You don't mention your husbands point of view. If you are in agreement.

Anyway, parents have a right to protect their children from people who would be bad for them. And this includes relatives.

wow this sounds like my mother in law i would never let her stay with you if she is drinking and doing drugs what if she let's her stuff out and your kids get at it it's not worth it your husband should understand and realize why you don't want her to stay with yous. unbelievable how much that sounds like my mother in law she wanted to stay with us but that will never happen she does all yours does but she loves her pills goodluck

You can't seriously be considering letting her live with you. She is trouble and you don't need to let your kids see that. She is more concerned with her own life. Don't do it. That's my advice.

How does your husband feel about this? Personally, I would just tell him - She drinks and does drugs, she thinks abuse is OK - do we really want our little girl to think it's OK to see Grandma doing a line on the toilet tank? I wouldn't want her around me or mine either!

What you have just asked us - ask it of your husband. He should be there to help with your concerns. These concerns should be his concerns too. You shouldn't have to deal with this on your own. What is his opinion of all this??? It will show his true character if he just brushes you aside. However if he is supportive then you can both work through it TOGETHER.... Dont let him get away with this.

SOUNDS TO ME SHE WASNT MUCH OF A MOTHER TO HER OWN KIDS IF THAT BE THE CASE THEN JUST BE HONEST YOUR LIFE STYLE IS HIGH RISK AND WE DONT WANT TO TAKE THE CHANGES OF HOW IT WILL AFFECT OUR KIDS OFFER TO HELP HER FIND A PLACE TO STAY MAYBEE EVEN OFFER TO HELP PAY HER RENT FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS TILL SHE GETS ON HER FEED BUT MAKE SURE YOU TELL HER FOR 2 MONTHS AND OONLY 2 TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS

You children shouldn't be allowed to be around that type of person, grandma or not. If she can prove to you that she has cleaned up her act then that is one thing but she would be leaving her home and coming to another place with no job and probly no skills.

Listen, you have to be cool with the mother in law. What she does in private with the partying stays in private. She aint going bring that stuff up or out in front of the kids. Lighten up, if you are in a position to help, help the sister out with a liitle cash once in a while but let her know not to get used to this. Its good karma baby.

i think u are right but maybe she can have only supervised visits with u or someone u trust are with the children no unsupervised visits.i wouldnt leave the children alone with her if i were u.

I swear my Mother-in-Law is a demon...My husband died 1 year ago..and she is poison to my child.She isn't allowed to see him...and lucky for me...there are no Grandparents rights in my state.Check on yours.

If you have the money, book her into a hotel, otherwise tell her that can't be done(with your husband's agreement, of course.It is his mother...)and give a host of reasons. If your husband doesn't want that, move yourself and your daughter into a friend's/ relative's place until she moves away.

If she hasn't asfter a couple of months, I would consider telling her to move out and find her own place.

Tell her not to come and to look elsewhere for a place of her own.

Tags
  HIV Information   HIV Drug   HIV Rash   HIV Window Period   Anti HIV   Living with HIV   HIV Vaccine   HIV Prevention   HIV Positive   HIV Virus   HIV Transmission   HIV Treatment
Related information
  • The consensus is wrong on global warming. Wonder when the New York Times will figure it out?

    Sounds like this Lomborg book is a good read, I may have to pick it up. It beats someone who's been a proven liar. At least he addresses the other side's issues too, which is important....

  • WHAT iS THE NAME OF THiS BOOK?

    It's called "It Happened To Nancy "

    ...
  • OBAMA speech in full?

    LOL To Obama, the issue of race is only a distraction when HE is caught in the issue. When WHITE people touch the issue, he goes on and on about it.

    ...
  • I am 1 day late on having my period but had unprotected sex day after day can i be pregnant also having cramps

    you should probably go to the doctor or just go buy a test. good luck.

    ...
  • What do you think of this poem ?

    It was V.Good Great debate against AIDS it makes you think It's depressing butt.....In a thoughtful way!

    ...
  • Can anyone help me find Andrew Pearce, please?

    Have you tried Intelius.com?

    ...
  • Why can't gay men legally donate blood?

    Great question thanks! It is a hideous and outdated bias. What group i society know the most about AIDS and HIV? What group is tested most often? Seems to me that they'd want gay men...

  • Finger pain?

    Sounds like you have arthritis. If you can purchase over the counter anti inflammatory medication that would help reduce the pain. Also you can soak your hand in hot water for fifteen minutes and...

  •  

    Categories--Copyright/IP Policy--Contact Webmaster