What will happen to my 18 year old son with Asperger's, if I die?

I'm his main caregiver. He can't function in public at all. School has been a nightmare. If I get him thru I will be very happy. He likes to be alone in his room watching tv. He has a hard time between real and tv life. There are no schools or anything for him where live. I don't want to even think about someone putting him in a nursing home. I'm only 49 and I would hope to live forever, but I have to live in the real world. I've seen so many others end up on the street with no one to care for them. They end up on drugs and with HIV or AIDS and die, because no one cares for them. It just breaks my heart. I feel that even thought I'm still young, I need to make plans for him because you never know what could happen. We are not promised tomorrow. Any ideas?

I think the best thing for him in the case of your death would be for him to be in a group home. You can make arrangements for this before you die, or to ease the transition, as you get older or if you happen to end up with a terminal disease, you can actually place him there before things get bad or you die, that will ease the transition for you and for him. Make sure that you have an attorney draw up a will stating your wishes for your son and exactly where you want him to go and how your estate will be allocated to pay for his care. I would say a nursing home would be a last resort, but like someone said, it's still better than him ending up on the street. I did my college internship in a nursing home and we had a woman in there. She was close to elderly herself and had been in a few years, her parents were her care-takers her whole life and they made the arrangements that when they died she'd be placed into that nursing home, and they also arranged what she would need for her comfort, like a TV, her own comforter from home, a couple of stuffed animals she really liked, her favorite clothing, etc. This woman rarely left her room but was happy in the nursing home and very well taken care of. Good Luck to you, I wish you many more years with your son!

Yes, but being in a nursing home would be better than living on the streets. You could maybe take out a supplemental insurance policy to help with his care in the event something did happen. Then he would get better care. He will also be eligible to have a caregiver to help care for him if you own your home and will be leaving it to him in an estate. Get with Social Security and find out what his benefits will be so you can make a plan of action.

Put in your WILL what you need done for him....and make sure you find some that can take care of him and make sure they will follow your wishes

hopefuly again. But maybe you cna get him to a group home or something

what about other family they can help

since your question is what will happen to him, I will answer that first....... look around at what happends to the rest of them in that situation...that is likely wha will happen.

I assume that the next question is how can I change the "ghost of xmas future"?.... You have ti maximize his gifts and what he does for himself.. that is first... NO TV, no fantacy land where you are fofilled by the fact that you care for him.... he needs to care for himself as much as possable.... and yes he can... much, MUCH more than you know or will allow him to do...yes I do KNOW that... trust me on this one, and find a way not just the same way...

next get him involved in social situation,s and dont let your fears keep you from that.. his best hope is for someone love him, but you cant manage those relationships, you can only make them possable... make them possable

You need to start making financial plans now so that your son will have the ability to remain independent or move to a group home setting. Look into what sort of extended care that is available in your area now. You should also talk with a lawyer and get a will and/or trust drawn up. You will need to find someone to act as a guardian ad litem (this is someone who can look after your's son's financial affairs and be his legal guardian.) You need to find someone very trust worthy for this and may wish to leave the financial affairs with a bank trust department.

None of us like to think about death but with your son depending on you, you should make plans now.

As an aside, I have a very close friend who has Aspergers (was one of the first diagnosed with the syndrome). He is married and a graduate student working on his Ph.D. He's utterly brilliant. Don't give up on your son or the system, as frustrating as the system can be. You never know what may happen. Good luck to you.

Try walking with him in a garden, enjoy watching a movie with him, ask him if there is something he would like to have, talk with him about something he loves, go watch with him a soccer or football match, let his friends come at home and maybe play with him a video game. There is no other thing in the world that is horrible than sadness and loneliness

I'm not sure what state you're in, but most have programs where he could live independently with supervision when he needed it. My brother is very high functioning and lives in an apartment program. The complex has 2 people per unit and 1 unit that staff members stay in around the clock. They prepare all of the meals for them and are there if they need any help. This program also gets them into a work program to teach them skills so can work a regular job later in life. Contact the Autism Society in your state and they should be able to direct you in the right direction. It's always good to plan ahead.

I would plan somrthing out like getting a will going and see if a family member can take him in start planning.

OMG. This is scary. :( I don't want to go on the street! I wonder if my parents think about this... (I'm 18 and have Asperger's, ADD, and Bipolar)

I suggest contacting a lawyer and making out a will, talk to your son's doctor and find out what can be made available to him in the event of your death and make a choice for your son, and have it written into your will.