Do you think my children are safe?

Hello, my ex-husband is an ex drug addict and just recently won unsupervised visitation of our two young children. He also has HIV. He is not on medication at this time. He has dated many girlfriends since his he caught HIV, & he is not telling them he has it. I try to stay out of his personal life but he now has a girlfriend he is living with & she does not know. Now, he wants my kids to go over their house to spend their visitation. My concern is that she probally has HIV from him & does not know it and might have a blood accident & put my children at risk. My kids are too young to tell. I have debated telling her but I have been told not to. #1 reason, am I going to tell every girl he dates, #2, every adult is responsible for their own health & to protect theirselves and #3, I am afraid of him & what he would do to me. He has threatened my life many times before. Do you think my children are safe? I mean what are the chances there would be a blood accident? Would u let your kids go?

Hi, Thanks for your replies. The courts don't care that he threatened my life, they just care how he treats the kids, which he is okay with. The visits are supervised, but he wants her to be the supervisor and I would not have a problem if she knew, but she does not know. He has not threatened me in a long time, years, but if I told her, he would again probally. I have no reason to take him to court now..

No I don't think they are safe.

You need a better lawyer.

there would be no way in H3** I would let my kids around him not b/c he has hiv but he has threatened before to kill you I would have a restrasinning order against him to be anywhere around me or my kids..... I would also see that visitation was suppervised if the kids want to see him

Whoa, man! That's difficult. I'd ask a lawyer first. I'd keep my kids away from him as much as possible. I'd be very concerned!!!!! You're in my prayers!

heck no!!! my kids wouldnt go anywhere with them if he had threatened my life!! you need to get a really good lawyer

DUDE!!!! that is a trip!!!

No way, get your kids, he is not responsible at all, go over him, don't even wait for a court date, call the children protective services and see how they would go about it, They are not safe!!!

This is they're life we are talking about, please wake up, how long has this been going on?????????? JEEZZ

Yes, take care of your kids. They should come first now. I would not say they are safe!!

What he is doing by not telling his sexual partners is illgegal. B/c HIV Is a deadly diease and contagious. I would tell the woman that she might want to get tested.

I would be afriad to let my children go over there unless the household knew of the status just incase something happened. You have to protect your kids

I have hep C and i do everything in my power to make sure that my children and step children aren't exposed in anyway to it.

Why did you not bring up his medical condition in court when he was fighting for unsupervised visitation?

Fact of the matter is, you don't have a choice anymore. He won unsupervised visitation, you have to send the kids. Safe or not, until an accident DOES happen.

I'm having a hard time with the fact you put yourself before the safety of your kids - fearing what he might do to you if you said anything - instead of being more concerned about the kids & their welfare at his home.

Don't get me wrong, there are responsible parents out there that have HIV but still are fit parents, the fact he isn't on meds or lies about his condtion - makes it avery dangerous situation.

Annonymously turn him into the authorities (CPS for child endangerment & the police for not being open about his condition)

I would get legal advice and medical advice and if he is so threatening move if possible !

Is there any chance you can voice this concern with him in a civil manner? Your children come first and foremost! Yes it is his obligation to tell his mates that he has HIV, but since there are children involved, you need to step in and get involved. How old are your children? They need to know about their father and that he has HIV. They need to be educated so that they themselves can protect themselves. Is your ex taking extra precaution when they are around? The court/Judge that just granted him unsupervised visitation, did you try and tell them about his silence about his illness? If not, I would go to the courts and let them know that you are afraid of him, and your concern with your children being there with him having HIV and not telling his mates, and therefore allowing your children to be in possible exposure to the deadly virus. The courts should know that he is not telling his girlfriends and that puts your children at more risk. Educate your children. Your children need to know about their father having HIV. I'm sure there are websites, and Help Groups for parents on how to explain such a thing to children. Try Googling it and see what you come up with...In fact...let me try..hold on....OK, here is a link I found that might help you. I wish you and your little ones all the best...
http://ssl.thebody.com/index/telling.htm...

Take it to court again and try the argument again. It's genuine concern for your young children.

I agree . . . you need a better lawyer - and in the mean time and between time - my kids WOULDN'T be going over there. We are here to look over them, until such time they can look after themselves, so their safety is in your hands. How would you feel if you continued to let them go and something happened and this situation definitely has the potential for something to happen.

I would tell her.
Not only does she deserve to know but I would want her to know so that in the event that she does have a blood accident around the children she knows to keep them away- not that anyone would let them near it but just to be extra safe.
You never know what the chances could be but it's best to be safe- I would let them go but I would make sure that the adults were all on the same page (tell her!) so that they could be sure to provide the most effective care possible for your children.

Drop the one you got you need a better lawyer. If this was his/her children. If they care. They want to be treated with respect. You should have brought his medical condition in court when he was fighting for unsupervised visitation.
Somebody gave it to him. He on a revenge path. He works for devil. He wants to kill, still, & destroy. He just like the devil don't care who it is including the children. What happen if someone does this to someone he cares? Does he care about the kids? NO I DON'; T THINK SO. This man is crazy, dangerous. You are going have to get a restraining order for protecting for yourself & your children. You & your children are not safe. You need to get documentation of he has threatening you either by phone calls conversation, letters, small recorded in your pocket so the judge can hear this. He doesn鈥檛 deserve to see the children only supervise visit only.
How do you know the woman doesn't know? Did he tell you this? The woman needs to know. You need to tell her. It better with proof. Can you go to her job, do she has any relatives that can tell her. By you being the ex, you look better if you have documentation proof that he is HIV+. Do you have any male relatives or friends that not scared of him you need to move. He knows how to get hold on you. The way he going to do that is through the children that can lived with you or you could live with them. He is very evil .He going to destroy everyone that in his path including the children. I wouldn鈥檛 let my children go back over there. When he says you don't let him see the children. Mention the HIV situation, maybe the girlfriend might be there. She has the right to know. It a moral, ethic, safety situation. I agree with you every adult is responsible for their own health & to protect their self.
Every action someone does they have to deal with the results whether it good or bad. AIDS is real. It says people playing with their lives. It takes no more than 5-10min. to get tested for the virus. The clinic open up in the mornings, some open up on evening/wknds. There also the health dept. Lots of them do it for free. It no excuses.
I don't want to scare you. I wouldn鈥檛 trust this man. He should NEVER be alone with the children again. I think you tested your children for the virus. He might try to give it to them. It might be the reason he want them at the house. He will try to get back even with you even it mean harming the ones that you are closing to. It the work of the devil.
You need to educate your children about this disease. They are going to have to know NOW so they can protect their self.
You need to protect yourself & the children in case he tries to harm you.