Issues that people wanted to discuss:
Disclosure
Sex (between +ve and –ve)
People being put off by HIV status
When to?
Like coming ‘out’ again – similar issues
Different with partners
Friends/family
Is it better to disclose before having sex?
Sooner rather than later – can’t leave it too late
Is it best to form a relationship and gain trust before having sex (although this doesn’t always happen in every community)
Tests the strength/worth of the relationship/partner
Different issues if disclosing when already in a relationship
Disclosing in any relationship gay or not is hard
Rejection is of the HIV not you
Sometimes people just don’t want to disclose
How to tell? Leaving clues around the house…
Casual sex and disclosure
If it is safe sex it is ok
Although it can be good to be up-front you need to earn someone’s trust
It is also to do with confidentiality – how many people will you end up telling?
Disclosure is contentious but in the end the decision is up to you
Can’t ‘untell’ someone
May lead to the assumption that unprotected sex is ok, but there could be a cross infection of strains and/or the risk of contracting other STIs
People may be together because HIV is the only thing in common
But some of the above issues are not just reserved for sero-concordant relationships
HIV diagnosis affects the body image anyway (which treatments can exacerbate) and there is a mental change as well as a physical one
Feeling like you have to ‘make it work’ or like you have to tolerate more in the relationship because of the investment
People pointed out that you can get what you want and you need to work on your own self-esteem
Dependency issues
Charity sex (the assumption that if you are living with HIV you are less picky)
Some make the assumption that everyone is positive now
Criminalisation issue – duty to disclose
Non-positive people have a degree of responsibility
People living with HIV take on a burden of responsibility (more than they should?)
Legal worries shouldn’t be an issue; sex should be about trusting people
Women have responsibility too (in regards to all the recent cases of criminalisation which concern black men and white ‘innocent’ women)
Ethnic differences
African people encountering more stigma
Condoms can be an issue, particularly with African men, although it was pointed out that this could be said of men in general
100% rated this as good or excellent
Move on to Key points and Recommendations