Many people who find out they are HIV positive have concerns about whether or not their children might have HIV as well. This can only be found out for certain if they have an HIV test too. It is worth noting that HIV can only be passed from a woman to her unborn or newborn baby, it can’t go direct from the father to the child unless the mother is infected. Telling your children that you have HIV is a big decision. Whether it is your own children, or your brother’s or sister’s or friend’s, most of us have children in our lives who may have questions about your pills or your health. It is a good idea to think in advance about what you want them to know, rather than be taken by surprise by the very direct questions children can come out with.
Terry
I was very worried about telling my children. I thought they would be ashamed of me, feel that I’d let them down. But I couldn’t have hoped for a better reaction.
Prudence
My children were a bit older and they said they really appreciated being told the truth. They had guessed what was going on, seen the pills I had to keep in the cupboard and in the fridge. One of them had looked up the name on the internet, so they’d guessed.
Sam
I was most worried that they would tell other kids and then get bullied or made outcasts. I made it really clear to them that they didn’t have to tell any other children. I also made sure my sister was ready, and then I was able to tell the kids that they could talk to their Auntie about any worries they had.
Young children can be more accepting than you might think, often more than adults. It is usually best for children to find out from their mother or father about them having HIV, rather than hearing about it from someone else. Keeping secrets can be harmful in families, as children can sometimes blame themselves for any problems in the family.
Move on to Can I still have a sex life?